Lies Walk the Streets and Honesty Is Not Always Brutal

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Handle With Care.”

This is a direct quote from my mother who doesn’t take her own advice.

Explanation of this quote  When you tell a lie the truth will catch up with you, some way, some how, sooner or later.

Explanation of Mom’s approach:  She thinks it’s OK to tell a “little white lie” if necessary to avoid hurting the recipient’s feelings but more importantly to prevent the recipient from having a bad opinion of her or her family.

Example of Mom’s approach:  Lie to her friend who has invited me to a (surprise) birthday party/open house for her friend’s Chabadnik second son-in-law who I have never met in my life.  Now I love my mom’s friend and appreciate her invitation in this instance and all the prior ones and all the recognition my family and I have received from her over the years.  So Mom lied in advance and told her I had other plans that day, which turned out to be true after the fact.

My preferred approach would have been to tell the truth in the first place, trusting that Mom’s friend knew me well enough to appreciate that I would rather spend the time with people I know and love than with somebody I’ve never met, have little in common with, and would probably never see again as we were both visiting in the area at the time.

I hardly handle anything with kid gloves.  I prefer an honest direct approach.

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5 thoughts on “Lies Walk the Streets and Honesty Is Not Always Brutal

  1. Isn’t it interesting that in society it’s okay to say no if we’re busy, but if our calendar is open , it’s a big no-no to honor our feelings? Personally I like a little adventure and try to say yes to the unknown when it comes up… However, I don’t always! If this kind of invitation makes someone feel uncomfortable for any reason, we should be able to say “I’m sorry, it sounds lovely, but I just can’t do it!” That way you’ll be telling the truth, without having to reveal your whole inner world or feel that you need to justify it for people who may not respect boundaries! Oh, respecting boundaries… That’s a very powerful one for us! Our inner boundaries need to be respected! If someone starts to push, a simple “I need you to just take it at face value!” …A rain check and you still can’t do it?… “Oh, I’m sorry, I still can’t do it! It just doesn’t work for me!” …No need to explain why! We live in cultures where we need to explain our feelings and then people will argue with us the validity of them! By setting boundaries, firmly, it becomes our ‘keep off the grass’ sign! If someone keeps pushing? Ask them why! We have a right to our feelings and it’s more than okay to honor them! Oh and I’m using ‘feelings’ to stand in for the words ’emotions’ and ‘gut feelings or intuitions’! *smile!*

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